my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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