I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
