I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
