Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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