she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
