his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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