Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
