So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize