3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
