dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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