I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
4 words: hood of his car
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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