party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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