New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
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