I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize