is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
