I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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