His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
