Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
