so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
