just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
