I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
