Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
