Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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