i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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