i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
fuck your aforementioned shoe
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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