i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
