Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
