Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
