DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
