i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
