If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
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