I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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