she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
