I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize