All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Randomize
