i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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