Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
