we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
