so explain again why im purple
no
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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