All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Randomize
