so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
