Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Pooping to opera.
Randomize