It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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