I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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