return my video game
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
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I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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