Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
