my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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