I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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