just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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