You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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