It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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