I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
