last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
