quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
