I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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