I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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