Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
