she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
