It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
