I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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