were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
