so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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